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Soft Target

by Rosalie James

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about

I grew up not knowing I was autistic. I knew I was awkward, difficult, obsessive and couldn't stand loud noises, tight clothes or people breathing near me. I had no common sense and couldn't tell my left from right. I walked into doors. I could put my legs around my neck. I couldn't understand why I didn't get the things I wanted in exactly the way I wanted them, and when I didn't get them I made a scene and then I hated myself for it. I was terrified most of the time and thought I was a psychopath because I didn't feel love or affection in the way other people did. I had stomach aches every day and I cried about cartoon animals. I watched Three Men And A Baby over 200 times. I had a strange relationship with the truth and I habitually self-medicated. They said I'd end up alone.

But it's not just me. Soft Target is for the lost generations of women who weren't diagnosed as neurodivergent because they just seemed A LOT. It's for the "over-sensitive drama queens" who attracted people that liked them a little crazy and vulnerable but had nothing to give them.

I'm still awkward and difficult and I'm scared of balloons. I lost my career and I'm full of chemicals. It's not an excuse but it's an explanation. And I'm not alone.

lyrics

Had a dream about the seventies
Where no-one locked their doors at night and we fight like fleas
Baby never knows what she’s going to get
A birthday party, a chemistry set

Hey paranoia, shark in the water, silver loving daughter on every stage
We live, forever tangled in the never - try to love a little bit anyway

And you said something about loss and crying on the inside
I’m a soft target and you know it, harder on the outside
They’re still using the same signs - caught me on the flipside
I’m a soft target and you know it

Talk of doing the impossible
But it’s Tuesday night and we’re all full of chemicals
Take my boyfriend like a sedative
We used to be so difficult to live with

Oh pleonasm, tiny little chasm, now the future has them on every street
We fuel the fire, Z for Zachariah, neighbours built a bunker - it’s six feet deep

You said something about loss and crying on the inside
I’m a soft target and you know it, harder on the outside
I’m the first one that you’ll find sleeping on a landslide
I’m a soft target and you know it

Why does everybody look the same
Why does everybody look the same
And I’m surrounded by mid-century furniture again

You said something about loss and crying on the inside
I’m a soft target and you know it, harder on the outside
It’s so perfect the way you climb, I’m building you an empire
I’m a soft target and you know it - hey yeah yeah

credits

released April 17, 2024
Soft Target was written by Rosalie James (International Songwriting Competition Finalist 2023)


Song Credits:

Rosalie James (Vocals)
Jason Abraham Roberts (Guitars)
Garret Lang (Bass Guitar)
Jorge Balbi (Drums)

Produced by Daniel Knowles and Jorge Balbi in Los Angeles (2023)
Mastered by Anthony Puglisi (2024)

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about

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Rosalie James Falmouth, UK

Rosalie James is a singer-songwriter from Falmouth, UK. She sings sad songs about drugs, love, death, mental health and mountaineering.

Rosalie's debut album, Full of Chemicals, will be released in June 2024.

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